Mr. Brooks: *1/2 (out of a possible **** stars)

Kevin Costner is still making movies? Why?!! Seriously, he’s got to be the least talented big name actor of the last twenty years. Him, or Keanu Reeves. But at least Keanu’s smart with his choices, and thus he’s ended up making several films that were good despite their star having as much acting ability as a common garden gnome. Costner used to fit this bill too, making several quality movies in the late 80's and early 90's that were good enough to overcome his obvious lack of talent (Bull Durham, Dances With Wolves, Robin Hood, The Untouchables, Field of Dreams). But no more. Waterworld and the Postman should have killed his career a decade ago, but for some unknown reason film makers keep giving him pity roles and watching helplessly as he drags their projects down into the abyss of his ineptitude. Granted, Mr. Brooks was a ridiculous story to begin with that not even a good actor could have saved, but it didn’t have to be as bad as Mr. Costner made it. My wife likes him for some reason, so we end up seeing just about every theatrical hairball he coughs up. Retire already, Kevin. Please...

I Am Legend: ***½ (out of a possible **** stars)

Will Smith may very well be the coolest actor alive today, and possibly ever. He almost never makes a bad film, and I Am Legend is yet another notch on a belt already filled with countless triumphs (I still can’t figure out how someone could watch the Fresh Prince of Bel Air and think “This guy is the next great action star!”...but whoever it was was an absolute genius). The story and acting are superb, and there’s one scene that’s so sad I probably wouldn’t even have felt like a sissy if I had cried (but I didn’t, just for the record. My perfect streak is still intact!). My one complaint - and the only thing that cost this film a perfect ranking - is the pointlessly overused computer animation. There is no reason - NONE WHATSOEVER - why the creepy mutant/zombie/vampire things should have been animated. As the LOTR trilogy (and pretty much every vampire and zombie movie) have shown, REAL actors in costumes and makeup still look far superior. Computer animation has come far in the past two decades or so, but it still hasn’t reached the point where you can’t tell it’s not real.

Sweeney Todd - The Demon Barber of Fleet Street: **½ (out of a possible **** stars)

I usually despise musicals (at least until the Planet of the Apes musical from the Simpsons becomes reality), but this one was dark and gory enough to at least hold my interest. That said, it still would have been much better if it WASN’T filled with songs. Johnny Depp, Tim Burton, and Helena Bonham Carter (Fight Club, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix) were all at their creepy best (actually, I can’t imagine any one of them ever NOT being creepy), but some of the violence actually got kind of repetitive and gross. Watching someone’s throat get slashed open with a razor surprisingly loses much of it’s appeal after the fifth or sixth time...

P.S.- I Love You: ** (out of a possible **** stars)

A definite chick flick (you can almost SEE the estrogen dripping from the screen), but at least there are some funny characters to make it tolerable. Gerard “This is Sparta!” Butler is amusing even without a cape and sword, and Harry Connick Jr has his moments as a bartender with a condition that causes him to blurt out horribly inappropriate things at random times (if only we all had that excuse...). But personally I don’t think Hillary Swank is quite girly enough to pull off a movie like this...She’s much better suited for tough chick roles like Million Dollar Baby and The Core.

Rescue Dawn: *** (out of a possible **** stars)

Christian Bale is once again perfect, and Steve Zahn (Daddy Daycare, Saving Silverman, Sahara) is quite good as well in one of the first serious roles I’ve ever seen him in. Great Vietnam war drama and cool jungle scenery, and it’s based on a true story to boot.

Shoot ‘Em Up: ** (out of a possible **** stars)

You know, I’m all for mindless, kill everyone shooter films, but this one went a little too far with it’s ridiculousness. Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti are still cool, but some of the action was so over the top it was just silly (and not in the good, Stallone sort of way).

Resident Evil Apocalypse: *** (out of a possible **** stars)

By far the best of the series, and not only because the first one was mediocre and the second was flat-out terrible. It’s never not cool to see hot chicks blow apart zombies, and the audience cheered when it showed the sign to a decimated desert town that read “Welcome to Salt Lake City.”

Rush Hour 3: ** (out of a possible **** stars)

Exactly the same as the first two...Seriously, I have a tough time distinguishing what happened in what movie. It’s sad to see an aging Jackie Chan hobble around as a mere shadow of his former self, unable to do some of the cooler stunts that used to be his moneymaker. Without them, it’s hard to mask just how annoying Chris Tucker really is...

Across the Universe: *** (out of a possible **** stars)

Surprisingly entertaining for a musical, the cast does a good job at re-creating Beatles classics in a new and fun way. It was also a pleasant surprise that they were able to do a movie about the 1960's -‘70's hippie revolution without bombarding us with sex and drugs. Most of that lifestyle was simply implied in the film rather than shown, and I say kudos to that. Bono looks cool with a mustache and sideburns.

30 Days of Night: **½ (out of a possible **** stars)

The idea is clever and the scenery and setting are beautiful (Alaska), and my wife squealed several times so I guess it’s actually fairly scary as well...but there just wasn’t much that was new in 30 days that you haven’t seen a dozen times before in better vampire flicks. The vampires themselves looked kind of goofy at times (though I do give props for using real actors rather than computers), and much of the violence was over-the-top and pointlessly graphic. Could have been worse, I guess.

Balls of Fury: *** (out of a possible **** stars)

Many of the best parts are shown in the previews, but its still got enough new laughs to make it worth checking out. I’d never heard of the main star before, but he does a good job and the supporting cast is recognizable and hilarious. Christopher Walken deserves props for realizing that at this stage in his career he’s much better utilized as a comedic parody rather than his former Oscar winning self. It takes a secure man to admit that.

Good Luck Chuck: ** (out of a possible **** stars)

Meh....A Dane Cook comedy with lots of sex. Definitely not for younger viewers (or anyone who’s looking for something intellectually stimulating). But its got Jessica Alba AND penguins, so that alone is worth at least a couple of stars.

American Gangster: *** (out of a possible **** stars)

It’s long and at times a little slow, but Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe are perfect as always, and the film does a great job creating the bleak atmosphere needed to deal with dramatic subjects like the underground drug trade, organized crime, and police corruption. A word of warning to potential viewers - if constant profanity, graphic violence, illicit drug use, and recurring nudity bother you, well, then this probably isn’t the film for you. But hey, if watching naked chicks cut heroin IS your thing - or if you just like good drama and a true story - then I’d recommend American Gangster for sure.

3:10 to Yuma: ***½ (out of a possible **** stars)

Gladiator Russell Crowe and Batman Christian Bale show once again why they both rank somewhere in the top ten actors of today. The drama between them alone is worth the price of admission, and then there’s some killer shootouts to boot. The supporting cast is perfect as well, especially Ben Foster (Alpha Dog, The Punisher, 30 Days of Night) as Crowe’s sadistic (and in my opinion, slightly effeminate) second in command.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford: *** (out of a possible **** stars)

Wow, that’s a ridiculously long title, isn’t it? It’s a long movie, too, but the superb performances make it worthwhile. Brad Pitt and Casey Affleck (who’s a much better actor than his older brother, Ben) do well as the title characters, but for those who want lots of gunfights, it might come across as a little slow. The makers were clearly going for historical accuracy rather than mindless, shoot-em-up entertainment value (which I’m not knocking...it certainly has it’s place, but it’s not here).

Dan in Real Life: *** (out of a possible **** stars)

I think Steve Carrell is quickly becoming one of the most likable comedic actors in Hollywood. This movie does have it’s share of humor, but it’s more serious than most of his previous efforts, and Dane Cook (in a supporting role) is surprisingly (and thankfully) subdued from his usual vulgar, in-your-face style of comedy. Oh, and the middle daughter in this film deserves a hard, swift kick to the head...

Evan Almighty: **½ (out of a possible **** stars)

Like it’s predecessor, Bruce Almighty, Evan does a fine job at taking a theme that could easily come across as blasphemous and turning it into something funny, heartfelt, and family friendly. Good use of REAL animals, by the way, which is something that too many overly-digitized films these days should take a note of (I’m looking at YOU, I Am Legend)...

1408: **½ (out of a possible **** stars)

Not very scary, but still interesting. John Cusack and Samuel L. Jackson do well, as always. The Stephen King novella that it’s based upon IS quite a bit better, however.

Ratatouille: *** (out of a possible **** stars)

I should really learn to stop doubting Pixar. I didn’t think the previews looked that great, but it turned out to be their best film since...well, their last one, but all their movies have been so good that that’s much more of a compliment than it sounds.

Live Free or Die Hard: *** (out of a possible **** stars)

Even at, like, 90 years old Bruce Willis still knows how to make a great action flick. There’s one scene in particular that’s so over-the-top it’s almost funny (the one with the jets and the freeway), but the rest of the film is slightly more down to earth while still being fast paced and, most importantly, manly. The kid from the Mac commercials (Justin Long, of Dodgeball fame) does a fine job providing the comic relief. And for those who care about such things, it’s the first installment of the series to get away with a PG-13 rating, which should be a lesson to Hollywood that overly graphic violence, excessive language, and pointless sex aren’t necessary when making an action blockbuster...

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: *** (out of a possible **** stars)

None of the Potter movies (except for possibly the third) were as good as the books, but they were all still enjoyable and this was no exception. Less action than previous installments but more drama and emotion, so it balances out. The casting for this entire series is near to perfect.

Knocked Up: *** (out of a possible **** stars)

Like Superbad, another movie that shouldn’t be funny but is. Seth Rogan and Jonah Hill have great careers ahead of them in the gross-out comedy business.

Superbad: ***½ (out of a possible **** stars)

So wrong...so very, very wrong. But man, was it funny. One of those movies you know you shouldn’t laugh at, and yet you’re powerless to stop. For those who have seen it, know it’s only a matter of time before some of the fat kids drawings start showing up on T-shirts...

Ocean’s 13: **½ (out of a possible **** stars)

Not as good as the original, but much better than the second (which was just a shade above awful). The story is getting a little old, but the cast is still excellent from top to bottom and their varied performances alone make the film worth watching.

The Borne Ultimatum: *** (out of a possible **** stars)

Occasionally I get a bit lost with the details of the story and the jerky camera angles kinda bug me, but overall this has been a fantastic series and the third installment is probably the best of the bunch. Matt Damon is on the short list of the best young (under 40) actors around.

The Simpsons Movie: ***½ (out of a possible **** stars)

Another movie fans have been anticipating for two decades, and it didn’t disappoint (which was actually somewhat of a surprise, since the show itself has been spiraling sadly downward for years). Ranks right up there with the show’s most classic episodes. Maybe the writers should concentrate on making more films and stop torturing fans by allowing the greatest show in history to limp around for years past it’s prime...

Transformers: ***½ (out of a possible **** stars)

The film 30 year old kids had been waiting for! Some of the most impressive special effects ever created make this arguably the best action film in years. A few cheesy scenes, but not nearly enough to damper the overall experience. If there’s anything manlier than giant robots whomping each other, well, I simply haven’t seen it...

Shrek 3: **½ (out of a possible **** stars)

Eh...Maybe I’m just getting bored with the series, but I thought this film was a bit slow and less action packed than the previous efforts. Each installment has tried to add new characters while still using all the old ones, and it finally reached the breaking point, as some of the old favorites simply had nothing useful to add (especially Donkey and Puss N’ Boots).

Pirates of the Caribbean 3: *** (out of a possible **** stars)

A bit long and confusing in part (and the scene with all the Jack Sparrow’s just comes across as cheesy and weird), but the superb acting, action, scenery, and special effects are simply too great to ignore. A solid finale to one of the greatest trilogies ever filmed.

Spider-man 3: *** (out of a possible **** stars)

Too many characters and subplots make this film slightly inferior to the first two (the love triangle with Bryce Dallas Howard’s character is especially pointless), but that’s not exactly criticism since the original installments are probably the best two comic book movies ever made. Still a quality film.